3 Reasons Why You Should Not Buy The Nintendo Switch – Reviewboard Magazine

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3 Reasons Why You Should Not Buy The Nintendo Switch

3 Reasons Why You Should Not Buy The Nintendo Switch

3 Reasons Why You Should Not Buy the Nintendo Switch

The Nintendo Switch is the latest iteration of Nintendo Consoles slated to hit the market in March of 2017.  It is a huge departure for Nintendo because… well to be honest they have a reputation for being very family friendly/kid friendly consoles.  The Nintendo Switch is definitely not designed for children and as such is really only family friendly for I would say ages 14+.  Alarmingly this means to be successful, that departure will have to scale through their new game titles as well.  The game titles will have to be darker, and more grown up with less gimmick and frolic and more adult oriented themes.  So the real question is… Can Nintendo handle the SWITCH?

Ok yah yah you want to know why I feel this way?  I get it, so let us begin on the reasoning and you can tell me whether you agree with my findings or not!

1) The controllers that do the Switching part of the Switch look like this:

So let’s talk about the Nintendo Switch controller.  As you can see TWO of the pieces on the left make up the full controller on the right.  When you want to do the SWITCH part of the Nintendo Switch you slide the two pieces off the controller and slide them on to this:

Now I’m very qualified to say this. I have 5 children. FIVE.  Count them, Nick, Rory, Nina, Lydia and Melanie. 5.  From those five children I have 10 grandchildren.  That is 15 KIDS worth of experience so when I’m giving you an opinion here I am speaking from experience.  There is no planet where these Nintendo Switch controllers do not get either lost or the rails that slide and lock them into place do not get damaged.  None.  It isn’t like the Wii and the Wii U controllers, those rails are critical and they will get buggered.  The Nintendo Switch controllers themselves are a lot smaller than the Wii and the Wii U controllers and they will get lost frequently.  I repeat the Nintendo Switch is not a toy for children.

2) The Nintendo Switch is basically a tablet with a docking station that allows you to play on the TV.  This is what it looks like:

Let’s talk about the Nintendo Switch which is basically a tablet and the Nintendo Switch docking station.

So the other thing you know if you have kids is they love tablets. They are going to be taking that thing out of the docking station every time you leave the room.  This is going to result in one of two things happening.  The Nintendo Switch is going to be broken into pieces or the screen cracked OR the connecting portion is going to get gummed up with that unexplained kid muck that kids tend to muck with (Play dough, gum, boogers, actual mud, dog poo, various toys and their already broken parts, name it) when you turn your back.

I don’t want to beat a dead horse and by now you should realize that this really is not an ideal console for children by now.  However – let us whip one last time on poor Epona’s back shall we?

3) Nintendo’s own video marketing shows young adults playing the game.  No where to be found is the happy family with children having fun.

Nintendo Switch In A Nutshell

They are clearly targeting Millenials and beyond.
So let’s talk about why that brings us to the “uh oh” stage in our conversation.  Let’s start with the price point.  Nintendo’s price point has always been lower than Playstation (boo) or XBOX (Yeah!).  There is a reason for it.  They rely on gimmicks rather than performance, and their games are designed with lots of repetitive dialog and charlie brown wha wha wa woo waa waa gibberish conversation which is really kind of for kids after the novelty has worn off.

The Nintendo Wii had the bowling game, and golf, and baseball and it was awesome for like 6 months, unless you were 5 and then it was awesome for like 3 years.  This Nintendo Switch has a gimmick, you can take the handles off your awkward looking controller and put them on the tablet in the docking station and run around with it!! YAY!!! But wait… we can do that already with our phones (yes most phones can be hitched up to the TV and YES you can play games on them, even run Nintendo Emulators!!!).

Nintendo has basically caved into the idea that mobile is growing and is not fad. I get it.  It has demonstrated that they still don’t ‘get it’ and focused on the wrong functionality.  No adult I know wants to lug YAED around with them. (Yet Another Electronic Device)

The reason I spend $1000 on a phone is because I can do everything the Nintendo Switch can do and a lot more.  I already have stuff with me, auxiliary batteries to charge my phone several times, wireless headphones, I have a PLEX server at the house so I can stream all my tv and movie content to my phone anywhere in the world with an internet connection, I have MAME emulators, a VPN connection to my server so I can grab one of a billion ROMS (mame games) that I want to play without keeping them on my phone.

Why on Earth would I need to spend another $250-$350 on something I already have?  I mean… if I want to play my games I on my TV it is pretty damn easy, just hitch up this cable for the iPhone and this one for the Android. IF you look on eBay you can find either of those cables a LOT cheaper too (under $10 most of the time).

So the only reason we are left with… the ONLY reason to buy a Nintendo Switch would be for content… for the GAMES.  I stopped playing Nintendo games a decade or so ago because I can’t stand to be held hostage to repetitive text dialog.  The games are also kiddie and while there are exceptions to the rule for sure (i.e. yes I know there are darker games for Nintendo) the graphics are sub par because their console iterations are generally feeble compared to Playstation (yuk) and XBOX (Yeah!).

What I’ve seen so far from the video is the same feeble graphics, and frankly a tablet isn’t really capable of kick ass graphics at least not comparable to what a real console or PC can kick out.  A tablet is also a mobile device that we (most of America at least) already own and have spent a lot of money on.

Everything I have seen indicates to me that Nintendo does not “get it”, that they need to hire some people that do, and that this launch will not be something that any one will buy unless they are part of the ever-shrinking fanboy/girl already-existing Nintendo users.

This means the Nintendo Switch ecosystem is not going to grow, which means any multiplayer games aren’t going to have tons of players, which means game developers will be less likely to make games for the system… Meh… At this point I don’t see me investing in the Nintendo Switch and unless Nintendo gives me a very compelling reason to do so it will be unlikely that I will own one.

My recommendation is to pass on the Nintendo Switch and wait for the next best thing from Microsoft or even Playstation (if you must) LOL 🙂

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